


It's Rude to Fall Asleep

by Pittsburgh_Bucky



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-21 23:28:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7409410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pittsburgh_Bucky/pseuds/Pittsburgh_Bucky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It's rude to fall asleep when there's company, Ushiwaka-chan..."</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Rude to Fall Asleep

Tooru wasn’t excited at all to move away from his old home. He was leaving all of his friends, and Iwa-chan. His parents tried to tell him it was just a new adventure, but it wasn’t good enough for him. An adventure was building a blanket fort and pretending to be the king of a castle. And adventure was following your best friend wherever he went to catch new beetles. An adventure was _not_ moving away to some stupid farm community. 

Tooru remembers holding both of his parents’ hands while they walked to the next house over. The houses had so much space in-between them, filled with fields and barns. Oikawa hated it already. The owners of the home closest to theirs, the Ushijimas, had a son too, about his own age of ten. 

“Oh, look Tooru! He’ll be your new best friend!” His mother cooed, nudging him forward to meet the other boy. 

He looked the other up and down, he looked boring. He didn’t look friendly at all, not that Tooru did either. He looked him right in his piercing golden eyes, and scrunched up his nose. “He’s not Iwa-chan. I don’t want to be best friends.” 

He ignored the way his parents gasped out _Tooru_ and profusely apologized to the other parents. The other child just huffed a bit, his eyes crinkling a bit at the corners as he looked back to Tooru. He held out his hand to Tooru, who looked at it like he was going to burn him. 

“I’m Wakatoshi Ushijima.” 

Oikawa glared at him for a bit, piercing golden eyes staring right back at him. He narrowed his own eyes, and made no move to shake the others hand. Instead settling on a “I’m Tooru Oikawa, _Ushiwaka_.” 

Their parents assumed they’d get along after Oikawa had given him the nickname. But in all actuality, he just hated him. He wasn’t Iwa-chan. He’d _never_ be Iwa-chan. 

The Ushijimas offered to help unpack their new home, and Tooru had to invite Wakatoshi to his room to help. He didn’t want him touching his things, but his parents would be mad if he didn’t let him help. So he just let Wakatoshi put things where he thought they would go, not answering his questions. 

“Who’s this?” He stepped closer to Oikawa, holding a framed picture of him and Iwaizumi when Tooru had given a beetle to him. He acted like he’d caught it, but he was afraid of bugs, so he just bought one from a gacha machine.

Oikawa swiped the picture frame from his hands, glaring at him. “That’s Iwa-chan, don’t touch it!” 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was important to you.” Wakatoshi said flatly, turning around to another box. 

Oikawa set the picture on his nightstand. He stared at the photograph, him and Iwaizumi were grinning together happily. Tooru looked over to the other boy in his room, he didn’t like him. Wakatoshi was nothing like Iwaizumi. He let him know too, not caring if he’d hurt his feelings. 

“You’ll never be my best friend like Iwa-chan, got it? _Never_.” 

Wakatoshi simply nodded and continued placing his various knick-knacks on shelves. 

They had the Ushijimas over for dinner, and Tooru had to sit next to Wakatoshi. He didn’t like him. He didn’t like him at all. When asked how they were getting along, Wakatoshi just replied with a bland _fine_. 

It was how Oikawa intended to keep it. Wakatoshi needed to understand that he would never replace Iwa-chan. 

 

Tooru didn’t want to wait for the school bus to pick him up with Wakatoshi, but he expected it. When the boy didn’t arrive at the bus stop, he was a bit confused. When he got home from school he asked his parents about it. They were friends with his parents, they should know why he wasn’t at the bus stop, right? 

Tooru saw something change in their eyes, but he paid no mind. They just smiled and said that he didn’t go to public schooling. After doing his homework, he just wanted to call Iwaizumi, but his parents told him to go over and say hi to Wakatoshi. It was such a bother. 

When he got there, Ushijima was sitting on his porch swing, a book in his hands. Tooru had teased him about it, but he could really tell that Wakatoshi liked the book. He stopped making snarky comments and plopped down next to him. 

“Tell me about your stupid book, Ushiwaka.” 

Tooru liked the way his bright eyes softened, and he listened to Wakatoshi talk about the book. Wakatoshi spoke in such a peaceful demeanor, and it made Tooru want to read the book too. It was way bigger than any of the books Tooru likes, so he figured listening to Wakatoshi talk about it would save him the time of actually reading it.

Wakatoshi never offered for Tooru to come over, he’d just show up. He didn’t mind, he’s never had a neighbor his age to talk to, so it was nice for him. Tooru still didn’t like him much, often telling Iwaizumi over the phone how much he hated him. Wakatoshi was always so nice to him though, he was blunt but he never faltered in his kindness. It made Tooru feel almost guilty, _almost_. 

After about a year, he went over after school, but the Ushijimas said that Wakatoshi was sick. They explained that it probably wasn’t the best to visit him at the moment, and Tooru was annoyed. He pouted the entire way home, and scrawled out a note and a poor drawing of an eagle with bright yellow eyes. Tooru never knew how to make a get-well card, so he just pointed to the eagle with an arrow labelled Ushiwaka. He thought eagles were pretty cool and stuff, plus they were really strong, and they had gold eyes just like Wakatoshi, maybe he’d pick up on that. 

Tooru came to the conclusion that Wakatoshi was too dense, so he put a short explanation next to the picture. _You’re strong just like an eagle Ushiwaka-chan! So get better!_

He returned the next day to give it to Wakatoshi’s father, a field flower that he’d picked on the side of the road along with it, and one of his favorite books about a lost alien. Wakatoshi’s mother invited him in for a snack while his father delivered his gifts. Wakatoshi’s mom made the best cookies he’d ever had, so he agreed to stay. Soon Wakatoshi’s father emerged from the hall with a smile. 

“He says he’ll visit your home when he’s feeling better to thank you properly for your card and the book.” He chuckled a bit. “Has he told you that eagles are his favorite animal? I didn’t even know that.” 

Tooru shook his head, biting into another one of his cookies. He thought nothing of it. 

Tooru had turned twelve by the time Ushijima visited him. He stood at Oikawa’s bedroom door, his parents having let him into the house. He had a small box in his hands, and Tooru laughed, teasing him about missing his birthday. 

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t able to get better in July, I tried.” He held out the box. “I requested my mom to get this to you on your birthday, but she said it’d be better for me to give it to you.” 

“It’s alright, you were still strong enough to get better! So you aren’t a complete loser.” Oikawa opened it, and he smirked. It was a little silver leaf on a thin chain. He just laughed at Wakatoshi. “It’s the stupidest gift I’ve ever gotten!” 

Wakatoshi never missed the silver chain on his friend’s neck when he visited though, the pendant tucked away in Tooru’s shirt. 

On his own birthday, Wakatoshi didn’t expect anything from Oikawa, he hadn’t told him about it after all. Though it seems his parents had already informed the Oikawa family of it, because Tooru came to his house with a white eagle figure in his hands. He presented it to Wakatoshi with a triumphant grin. 

“I got it because it’s your favorite animal! I found it at the store by my school!” 

Wakatoshi smiled for the first time since Oikawa has met him, and the other boy was stunned. His grin slipped as he watched Ushijima hold the figure with care, an absolutely halcyon look on his face. Tooru just laughed again. “Your smile is stupid, Ushiwaka-chan!” 

“Thank you, Tooru.” 

Oikawa stopped laughing, still confused about Wakatoshi’s reaction. He just averted his gaze and nodded. “Yeah… You’re welcome.” 

Oikawa visited Ushijima every day for two years, both of them now fourteen. Wakatoshi didn’t go to public middle school either, but Oikawa sure hoped he would go to high school at least. Ushijima studied at home, and didn’t really talk to anybody but Tooru. 

Iwaizumi had started talking to Tooru less when middle school started, both of them busying themselves with work. Oikawa was a bit sad knowing he wasn’t as close with Iwaizumi as he used to be, but he supposes that’s just what happens when you move away. 

He still had Wakatoshi. The two would often sit in Ushijima’s back yard, sitting by the turtle pond they got when the two of them were twelve. Tooru didn’t care much for turtles at all, they were slimy and gross, but Ushijima seemed to like them, so he just sat with him anyways. They’d talk about everything with each other. Wakatoshi barely left the property, so Oikawa usually had the most stories to share. He liked talking with Wakatoshi, he was a good listener. 

Oikawa hated to admit it, aloud or in his own head, but he’s really come to like Wakatoshi. He finds that on his worst days at school that just a comforting look from Wakatoshi’s sharp golden eyes will make him feel better, cheerful warmth spreading through his chest. Tooru was glad they were friends despite him being so rude to him all the time, he’s happy Wakatoshi could see through his harsh words. 

Wakatoshi got sick again in September. Tooru wanted to visit him, but Wakatoshi’s parents said they’d have to talk to Tooru’s parents about it first. Over a week of pedaling up and down the street to get to and from school, Tooru had seen strange cars in the Ushijima’s driveway. He figured they were just over for dinner, but they came three times in a short span, he wondered what they were doing. 

Tooru’s parents let him know that he’d be able to visit Wakatoshi, but he’d need to be gentle. He was fourteen, he thinks he knows how to handle himself around a sick person. On his way to the Ushijima’s home, he picked a field flower just like he’d done years ago. 

Wakatoshi’s parents greeted him with gentle looks on their faces, and let him in. When his hand touched the doorknob to Wakatoshi’s room, his mother gently touched his shoulder. He looked over to her, and met her golden gaze, much like her son’s. 

“Just… Prepare yourself, Tooru-san.” She said softly, smiling and nodding to him. 

He just nodded, opening up the door. Oikawa figured he didn’t prepare himself well enough, because his fingers let the field flower drop to the floor, and his hand came to cover his mouth. His eyes stared wide at Wakatoshi. His breathing was light, his skin was paler than his normal sun-kissed complexion, and he had tubes in his nose connected to some kind of machine. Wakatoshi’s lidded eyes met Oikawa’s, and he huffed a little. 

“Hello… Tooru…” 

_Why didn’t they just tell him?_

Tooru’s throat was too dry to speak. How was he supposed to prepare himself for this? Harsh reality hit him like a freight train, and his chest clenched. Tooru was fourteen, not stupid, his friend was seriously _sick_. He swallowed the lump in his throat and stepped forward, licking his lips. 

“Ushiwaka-chan…” He nodded, slowly taking the seat next to his bedside. 

Ushijima’s eyes were slipping shut, and Oikawa just laughed a little, shaking his head. “It’s not polite to fall asleep when you have company, Ushiwaka-chan.” 

Wakatoshi just looked up to him, his yellow eyes just peeking through between his eyelids. His lips quirked up into a little smile. “Sorry… Guess… I’m not as strong as you thought, huh?” 

He was talking about the eagle, Tooru knew that much. He figured he needed to make Wakatoshi feel better. “Of course you are, Ushi _baka_ -chan. Why wouldn’t you still be strong? You’ll get better again.” 

And he did. The first thing Tooru did when he saw Wakatoshi standing at his front door was to run up and hug him. It was a bit surprising, but Wakatoshi happily accepted it. Tooru just smiled into his shoulder, his fingers gripping onto Wakatoshi’s shirt. 

Wakatoshi explained everything there was to know after that. They sat at the turtle pond for hours, Tooru asking questions and Wakatoshi explaining. He explained how there was a significant chance of him dying every time he fell sick. He was so blunt about it, not thinking to soften the blow of his words, Tooru couldn’t help the tears that pricked at his eyes. 

Wakatoshi just let his friend cry, holding onto his hand to let him know he was still there.

Oikawa struggled with his feelings when he got to high school. During middle school most of the other boys fawned over the girls in their classes, though Tooru never saw the appeal. They were pretty, and they seemed to have interest in him, but he never seemed to understand. He still didn’t going into highschool. Girls flocked to him, he got confessions all the time. 

It was when he was sixteen that he realized, that when he felt the hope in his heart of Wakatoshi maybe feeling the same as these girls, that he didn’t care for the girls at all. He sat alone in his bedroom, wondering what he would do if Wakatoshi were to say the same things those girls did. 

_Your hair is beautiful, Tooru._

_You have the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen._

_Your skin is so smooth and amazing, it seems soft._

_I love you, Tooru._

His cheeks flushed red and he had to hide his face in his pillow as he shook the thoughts from his mind. His heart was beating quickly and it ached for some reason. He had to shyly ask his mom what the feelings he were having meant. She just smiled gently to him. 

“Aw, it seems you have a crush. Who’s the lucky girl, tell me about her.” 

Oikawa shook his head, returning to his room. He ran his fingers through his hair, staring at the floor. What was he supposed to do? Whenever he thought about Wakatoshi his heart would pang in his chest. Wakatoshi had matured pretty nicely, growing just a bit taller than Tooru, his muscles growing from helping his dad around the farm, and his eyes getting even more piercing. 

Tooru didn’t know what to do. 

Wakatoshi knew almost immediately that something was bothering Tooru, so after a few days of him acting the same, they found themselves at the turtle pond like always. Wakatoshi was as blunt as ever. “Why are you acting differently? Is something bothering you?” 

“... Just… Just thinking about some stuff. It’s fine.” 

“What kind of stuff? You usually tell me everything.” 

“But this is really serious stuff.” Tooru muttered, looking to his lap. 

“You don’t think I can handle a serious situation, Tooru?” 

His heart clenched, and he bit his lip. That probably wasn’t his best explanation, Wakatoshi’s whole _life_ was a serious situation, and he’s just being a coward. 

“I just… I’ve never liked anybody… And now I do, so I’m nervous…” 

“Why don’t you just tell them?” 

Tooru’s cheeks flushed red, and he shoved Wakatoshi’s shoulder. “I can’t just tell them, Ushibaka! I’m not blunt like you!” 

“If you don’t say something they’ll never know.” 

“It’s probably better that way.” 

Ushijima looked over to him, and arched an eyebrow. “How would mystery be better than reality? Wouldn’t you like to know?” 

Tooru’s voice was just above a whisper. “I’m afraid of reality…” 

Tooru felt something warm on his hand, he looked over, and Wakatoshi gently laced their fingers. He was looking into the pond, his face still completely flat. “I am too, Tooru. But it’s better to know the truth.” 

The next day, Tooru went straight to the Ushijima’s house. He marched into Wakatoshi’s room, and shut the door behind himself, walking over to the other teen. He planned on being firm and assertive, and practiced all day to himself. But actually doing it, his cheeks were bright red, and he looked mildly scared. 

“I want you to kiss me, Ushiwaka.” His voice was shaky, and Wakatoshi’s golden eyes widened a bit. _Oh, why did they make Tooru’s heart race like this?_

“... Oh.” 

Tooru’s heart dropped, and he wanted to crawl into a hole. Wakatoshi reached to rub at the back of his neck, looking down to Oikawa. “I see… Um… What if you like it?” 

Oikawa just spat out the first thing he thought of. “Then we’ll kiss again?” 

Ushijima let out a breath, and put a hand on Tooru’s shoulder. “Tooru, you know there will come a day when I will not be able to kiss you again. It’s not a good idea…” 

Tooru’s cheeks were bright red, he already had his emotions out on the floor, so honestly there was no shame at this point. 

“You were the one who told me to face reality even if it’s scary. I don’t _care_.” He looked straight into Wakatoshi’s eyes, which were boring into his own. “I like you, and _that’s_ reality.” 

Wakatoshi was quiet, and then suddenly Tooru felt a gentle brush of their lips together. “I like you too, Tooru.” 

The two of them were scared at first. Neither of them knew what to do. They’d spent days hiding away in Tooru’s expansive backyard, shyly sharing kisses behind the trees. They’d lace their fingers together when they were sitting in one of their rooms, or watching a movie together when their parents were out. They were happy. 

Wakatoshi fell sick again in December. Tooru spent a little bit of each day with him, pressing kisses to his pale cheek and holding onto his hand as he softly talked about his day. Wakatoshi looked forward to when Oikawa would visit him, awaiting the next story of Tooru’s life. His eyes would flutter shut, and Tooru would always laugh a little. 

“It’s rude to fall asleep when there’s company, Ushiwaka-chan…” 

He got better again after the following September, the longest he’s ever been sick, both of them seventeen now. Despite falling sick, Wakatoshi managed to look just fine when he was better. His muscle wasn’t as defined, but he was still Wakatoshi. They spent a week together, Tooru was off from school for the summer, and he was more than glad to spend it with Wakatoshi. He stayed over at his house, and when Tooru’s parents would leave for work they’d freely hold hands everywhere around the house and kiss each other during boring parts in the movies they watched. 

When Tooru’s parents came home from work the two were already in the yard, getting ready for the evening stars to come out and light up the sky. Tooru liked the way that Wakatoshi’s eyes shined at night. They were so bright, it’s almost as if he had little suns in his eyes. 

“Ushiwaka…” He breathed, looking over to the other teen. They lay in the grass, staring at the stars. 

“Hm?” 

“... I love you, Ushiwaka.” 

He saw Wakatoshi’s lips upturn, and he nodded, squeezing his hand. “I love you too, Tooru.” 

Wakatoshi got sick again in October. His parents were worried, he’d never gotten sick in such short intervals before. Even Oikawa worried, he’d just gotten better a month ago yet he was bed-ridden again. 

Oikawa visited him every day again. He could tell Ushijima was getting weaker as the months passed, but Wakatoshi was strong, it’s going to be okay. 

Seven months in, he saw a familiar book sitting on Wakatoshi’s nightstand. He picked it up. The story about the little lost alien, he hadn’t seen this book since they were eleven or so. Oikawa cried for the first time in a long time when he left Wakatoshi’s room. 

Ten months. This is now officially the longest he’s been sick. Oikawa sat at his bedside holding onto his hand like always, and Wakatoshi told him everything on his mind. All of it ripping apart Tooru’s heart. 

_I didn’t have a favorite animal until you said I was strong like an eagle._

_I’ve always been a little jealous of your hair, it’s beautiful._

_My heart flutters when you gaze into my eyes._

_I was hoping you didn’t like me too… Reality is a little harsh though, isn’t it?_

_I always check to see if the chain of that necklace is still on your neck… I get happier every day._

_I love you so much, Tooru._

It’s been over a year. They were both eighteen. Tooru hasn’t given up hope, but it seems that Wakatoshi’s doctor and even his parents see a reality that he doesn’t. He still sits with Wakatoshi every single day. 

Tooru could tell Wakatoshi was getting weaker and weaker by the day, but the fire in his golden eyes never left. It was a light of hope for Tooru, he loved his eyes so much. 

Wakatoshi lightly talked about a new book his parents had got him to pass the time. Something about a Christmas romance and how silly it was. Tooru’s heart clenched in his chest, and his throat closed up. Wakatoshi's breath was getting softer, and so was his voice. He knew now. 

“I love you, Ushiwaka.” 

His golden eyes stared up at Tooru and he smiled lightly, his voice as gentle as his breath. “I love you too, Tooru…” 

His eyes were fluttering shut, and Oikawa bit his lip, squeezing Wakatoshi’s hand. He stared at him, knowing that this time when those golden eyes shut, his light of hope would go out permanently. Wakatoshi’s eyes fluttered shut, and Oikawa felt his chest slice. 

His voice was just above a shaky whisper, and tears fell down onto his cheeks. “It’s rude to fall asleep when there’s company, Ushiwaka-chan…”

**Author's Note:**

> Mmmmmmm sorry about that. I needed a break from my other fic so I could get some fresh ideas. Thanks in advance for all the comments and kudos :D This is the first time I've tried writing some serious angst, so if there's anything I can improve on please let me know <3 
> 
> I have a writing blog called knb-writing-trash on Tumblr where I write sports anime drabbles if you're interested, thanks again guys!


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